My Guest Author today is my dad who tells a story from his childhood.
My Uncle Sparky thinks that a man is hidden inside the big horn on the speaker. One day he blew a cloud of smoke into the speaker and the man coughed and choked. My uncle laughed and laughed. Now, when the radio is turned on, he fills his pipe full of tobacco and sneaks over to the radio speaker and blows smoke into it. If the radio company finds out about that, they might send the sheriff out to get Uncle Sparky.
Uncle Sparky was handicapped in some ways, but he was entirely himself. I learned about his other powers when he had a confrontation with the man who lived in our radio speaker.
The radio took up one end of the main room. The batteries – two dry cells and a six-volt car battery – sat beside the log wall. The 30X30 inch speaker horn commanded a position of importance overlooking the dining table. The main part of the radio sat on a shelf below the speaker. It had three numbered knobs which were used for tuning in KGHL, Billings or KOA, Denver. Sparky wasn’t worried about the knobs and gadgets on the radio – his problem was with the man who spoke from inside the loud speaker.
Every day the radio man gave incorrect weather reports and bad news. Every day he told about people being without work. He described them standing in long lines waiting for bread and soup. Even children were going hungry. When the loud speaker fellow talked, which seemed to be all the time, nobody could get a word in edgewise. Other people took turns. Not that fellow. All considered, I didn’t blame Uncle Sparky for glaring at the loud speaker. Did the Son-of-a-gun inside the speaker pay any attention? Not at all.
People don’t like being ignored. Sparky loaded his pipe with George Washington tobacco (which came in a blue can built like a picnic basket.) He blew great clouds of smoke and shook his fist to vent his feelings. It didn’t do any good. The news report grew worse and the radio man kept talking.
Uncle Sparky
There was just so much this fellow would take. He hobbled over to the radio and stammered, “Sh-shu-shut your du-du-durned mouth.” He accented his words with a great puff of smoke blown into the speaker horn. The radio announcer gasped for breath and began to cough. The radio was silent. Then music began to play.
“Whoooooppeeeee!” Uncle Sparky shouted. He stomped his feet and grinned from ear to ear. “Th-th-that will l-learn you,” he said.
The next day there was a favorable weather forecast, and the news was better. Some people believed that this was on account of relief programs. I had a different opinion. I had seen the power of a giant wrapped up in a human body!
Uncle Sparky celebrating a birthday
Sparky kept his pipe loaded in case the announcer backslid into some more bad news. When the evening news came on, we could see him lighting his pipe in a shadowy corner of the room. At times he would leap out and blow a billow of smoke into the loud speaker. No doubt, like a baseball pitcher throwing a ball to the first base to keep a runner from stealing second, Uncle Sparky kept the radio man under control. A fellow like that’s got to be appreciated!
Too bad he’s not here to control the TV.