The two little boys loved to play with one another. They were best of friends. One adventure after another gave our families great entertainment, and sometimes we got a bit more than what we hoped for. There never was a dull moment with those two kids.
We often went to our friends’ home for the boys to play while we visited and ate. It was a common occurrence for the boys to pee off the porch, in the yard, in the bushes, or on a tree trunk. On one particular day after we returned home, I commented that my little guy had not used the bathroom for some time. When I questioned him, he informed me that he had done his business outside in our friends’ yard. Normally that was no issue, but that certain day it was of great significance.
You see, just a few days before, we had another incident at our house – for whatever reason, somebody swallowed a penny. When the penny failed to emerge from the bowels of the little guy, I decided a trip to the doctor was necessary. An x-ray determined that the penny had indeed been swallowed and slowly made its way through the digestive tract. The doctor gave instructions to check his poop to make sure the penny was released from its gastric prison. Ugh! That was a nasty job! I figured the best way to fulfill my task was to pull out the potty chair for him to use. That way I wouldn’t have to fish in the toilet first. With surgical gloves on hand to aid in the inspection, I squished and squeezed every turd that plopped in the pot.
I guess you can see the dilemma I was in. So, my kid “used the bathroom” in our friends’ yard. Armed with my trusty gloves, we all piled in the car and made the trip back to their house to scavenge for a little boy’s scat, meadow muffins, dung, excrement, feces. Nothing. No scat. Come to find out, he had only peed.
A few days later, I did pull a black penny from a pile of refuse. I soaked it in Clorox, scrubbed it with a toothbrush (not the little boy’s), and taped it in the baby book.
When his grandfather heard the story he said, “One time I swallowed a dime. But I got it back. I’d rather have two plates of bread and gravy.”
Well, after searching through excrement for over a week, I can honestly say, “I’d rather have two plates of bread and gravy,” too.
A penny for your thoughts…..