My Mama’s Nose

by my Guest Author, my Daddy

Some people have strange looking noses. I know a boy named Ivan whose nose comes down right out of his forehead.  One of my cousins has a new baby.  Its’ got a tiny button nose just above some baby lips. 

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But I want to tell you about my mama’s nose. She has a very smart nose. Yesterday she said, “My nose itches.  Someone’s coming with a hole in their britches.”

Sometimes her nose itches when she is washing dishes or peeling potatoes and nobody is coming. But, just then, the dog barked. 

Someone on a black horse was riding into the yard. The man was leading another horse loaded with flour and rutabagas for a person who is herding sheep way back in the mountains.  The man is called a “Camp Tender.” That means he is a traveling grocery man. He takes salt, bacon, and rutabagas to the sheepherder every week. 

This keeps the sheepherder happy. Then the herder takes good care of the sheep and tells the camp tender where to catch a big fish. 

The man on the black horse stopped in front of the house. I told him, “You’ve got a hole in your britches.”

He stared at me with both eyes and asked, “How did you know?”

“My Mama told me,” I said. 

He just shook his head and rode his horse on up the road.

I walked back in the house to tell Mama that her nose was right.  But she was still rubbing it.

I looked down the road again, and I saw Uncle Sparky coming. He walks very slowly. His right foot points straight out sideways. When he turns around to see how far he’s come, he is already half turned.

Uncle Sparky wears very holey britches. 

Mama’s nose knows.  

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