Even without hearing all the various complaints the past few months about hair, it is obvious there has been an issue. Pandemics are not conducive to fancy hairdos or good hair days. Nope, not at all. I have seen individuals walk down the street with what appears to be a bush on their head. Ladies (and gents) who normally have luscious locks neatly in place now look like Medusa. Others who like their hair short and ironed down neatly grumble when they notice their tresses look akin to a wet mop. Well, I have a remedy for such a situation.
I know someone who can come to your rescue – my sister. If you’re in her vicinity, I imagine she would let you make an appointment. I can vouch for her mad skills. Why, more than once, she has risen to the occasion and even offered to cut my hair at no charge.
She does have one funny little quirk. No mirrors are allowed. After wrapping her victim, uhhhh, eeeer, her client, with a towel, she opens and closes the scissors a few times to test the sharpness. (Just ignore the glint in her eyes. She sometimes lets the power go to her head.) When she is satisfied, the new hairdo is well under way. Snip, snip. There is no need to worry!
When she cuts one side, she takes a quick look before moving to the other side. Then a funny thing happens. She stands back and studies her victim, ummmmm, subject. Fingers measure one side, then the other amid, “Hmmmm.” With a turn of the head from one side to the other, more sounds escape her throat. “Hmmmm. Hmmmm.” The next sound can be quite startling. It is more than just a sound; it is a giggle that turns into laughter. You might wonder, “What does the back of my head look like?” When her laughter turns into a roar, that may give you some indication.
Soon she is back at work – from side to side – and says, “I’m just evening it up. This side was longer than the other.” How many times can she say that? By the time she is finished, both sides are definitely even. How could it not be? There is nothing left.
My motto is – “it will grow back,” and it sure is easy to manage. You can wash your hair the same time you wash your face, with just one swoop of the washcloth.
So make your call! A good short haircut can last half a year at least. No worries! Give her a call at 1-800-nomirrors or shoot her an e-mail at snipandsnicker@lossoflocks.gone.
Oh – don’t forget your ear shields – and tell her her little sister sent ya!